Engaged to be married...

Nobody ever told me about this, i wasn't prepared for the force of it. In a second, a decision changed my life, my outlook, life as i knew it would never be the same again.

The catalyst for change i'm talking about is marriage. No, i'm not married. My current status is 'semi-married', and if there isn't such a term, well, i just created it, because i'm experiencing it! Hence this state exists.

I am engaged to a wonderful person, our wedding date is set for dec 2007. People sometimes smirk and say, "you won't be able to hold out for that long...have you ever heard of a year long engagement in our culture?" The culture in question here is punjabi. Anyway, my point is, i couldn't agree more with those snide remarks, but my reasons are vastly different.

The day our wedding date was set, i realised that no decision regarding my wedding would be based on my approval. All details from my wedding dress to the venue would be based on practicality and convenience. If i favoured a plan, it will be ditched, because whatever the youngest (spolied come automatically to my mind here) daughter wants, can't be practical.

So anyway, i have given up all decisions regarding the wedding plans keeping in mind that what's more significant is the fact that i get to spend the rest of my life with someone i cherish (i hear more snide remarks coming my way).

A lot is changing, the family that i loved, the aunts, everyone is suddenly on the attack, filled with a volley of advice that they constanlty hurl at me in shifts, "don't buy a new wedding outfit, use my daughters one, she got married in 1995", to things like, "keep your fiance under your thumb, get to him to do only what you want", "don't show him your fondness for him, let him come begging to you", "Don't encourage him to drink". Well meaning advice??? I don't really think so.

I like beer, he likes beer. We drink something like once in two weeks, how can i discourage even that? Not show him how fond i am of him? Have him beg me all the time? Isn't that disrespectful to the one i love and have decided to marry? Keep him under my thumb? We usually agree on most things, and if we don't i'd respect that and he would respect my opinion and we'd try to work a middle path. If manipulating things is how i'd get my way around him, i'd rather be single.

Life was far more fun before parents got involved. Earlier it was okay to go out and watch a movie, once we were engaged, everyone became hyper for a while, but yes, now things are certainly better.

But trust me, if anyone ever decides to get married, and if you know the person well, do it in an instant and get minimum relatives involved. If you need a long engagement, then i pray that you have reasonably sane parents, who don't think you're making out each time their back is turned!