Nobody ever told me about this, i wasn't prepared for the force of it. In a second, a decision changed my life, my outlook, life as i knew it would never be the same again.
The catalyst for change i'm talking about is marriage. No, i'm not married. My current status is 'semi-married', and if there isn't such a term, well, i just created it, because i'm experiencing it! Hence this state exists.
I am engaged to a wonderful person, our wedding date is set for dec 2007. People sometimes smirk and say, "you won't be able to hold out for that long...have you ever heard of a year long engagement in our culture?" The culture in question here is punjabi. Anyway, my point is, i couldn't agree more with those snide remarks, but my reasons are vastly different.
The day our wedding date was set, i realised that no decision regarding my wedding would be based on my approval. All details from my wedding dress to the venue would be based on practicality and convenience. If i favoured a plan, it will be ditched, because whatever the youngest (spolied come automatically to my mind here) daughter wants, can't be practical.
So anyway, i have given up all decisions regarding the wedding plans keeping in mind that what's more significant is the fact that i get to spend the rest of my life with someone i cherish (i hear more snide remarks coming my way).
A lot is changing, the family that i loved, the aunts, everyone is suddenly on the attack, filled with a volley of advice that they constanlty hurl at me in shifts, "don't buy a new wedding outfit, use my daughters one, she got married in 1995", to things like, "keep your fiance under your thumb, get to him to do only what you want", "don't show him your fondness for him, let him come begging to you", "Don't encourage him to drink". Well meaning advice??? I don't really think so.
I like beer, he likes beer. We drink something like once in two weeks, how can i discourage even that? Not show him how fond i am of him? Have him beg me all the time? Isn't that disrespectful to the one i love and have decided to marry? Keep him under my thumb? We usually agree on most things, and if we don't i'd respect that and he would respect my opinion and we'd try to work a middle path. If manipulating things is how i'd get my way around him, i'd rather be single.
Life was far more fun before parents got involved. Earlier it was okay to go out and watch a movie, once we were engaged, everyone became hyper for a while, but yes, now things are certainly better.
But trust me, if anyone ever decides to get married, and if you know the person well, do it in an instant and get minimum relatives involved. If you need a long engagement, then i pray that you have reasonably sane parents, who don't think you're making out each time their back is turned!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Mobile manners....
This is for the callers, there are some things that are largely being considered rude by the owners of cellphones, see if you agree with these:
1. When you recieve a call and don't want to talk for any reason (busy, or just busy!), you disconect the call, and the person keeps calling back! THAT IS RUDE.
Tip: Call once, if disconnected, the person has SEEN your call and is BUSY. He or she may or MAY NOT want to talk o you.
2. When you SMS someone especially during office hours (or any hours for that matter) and don't recieve a reply immediately, the reciever is NOT ignoring you! Not everyone is looking at their phones every one minute!
3. There is something known as SILENT MODE, which a lot of people use frequently. This means that when you call, and your call isn't answered right away, the reciever may have not seen your call. So leaving ten missed calls won't help.
Ofcourse, i tend to disobey these rules from time to time, but only with those people that i'm at liberty to. Everyone's attitude towards mobile phones should be, 'My mobile is for MY convenience - not for everyone else's'
And please, don't hold it against someone if they didn't return your call, its easy to forget, but yeah if it happening constantly, you may not be a priority.
I'm hoping a few tele-callers read these and when they do talk t me over the phone, they don't demand answers as to why i didn't take their calls. That's real rude. Cellphones are a good thing, but misuse and lack of respect for another person's privacy is increasingly being voilated.
People, i'd really like your comments and views on this.
Thanks
1. When you recieve a call and don't want to talk for any reason (busy, or just busy!), you disconect the call, and the person keeps calling back! THAT IS RUDE.
Tip: Call once, if disconnected, the person has SEEN your call and is BUSY. He or she may or MAY NOT want to talk o you.
2. When you SMS someone especially during office hours (or any hours for that matter) and don't recieve a reply immediately, the reciever is NOT ignoring you! Not everyone is looking at their phones every one minute!
3. There is something known as SILENT MODE, which a lot of people use frequently. This means that when you call, and your call isn't answered right away, the reciever may have not seen your call. So leaving ten missed calls won't help.
Ofcourse, i tend to disobey these rules from time to time, but only with those people that i'm at liberty to. Everyone's attitude towards mobile phones should be, 'My mobile is for MY convenience - not for everyone else's'
And please, don't hold it against someone if they didn't return your call, its easy to forget, but yeah if it happening constantly, you may not be a priority.
I'm hoping a few tele-callers read these and when they do talk t me over the phone, they don't demand answers as to why i didn't take their calls. That's real rude. Cellphones are a good thing, but misuse and lack of respect for another person's privacy is increasingly being voilated.
People, i'd really like your comments and views on this.
Thanks
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